FAKE SMILES

Angel B., Binghamton resident

Dark and empty place in my body, I feel it near so close & deep, I’m use to this there.

Instead of facing this problem I hide it out of fear;

Nothing scares me more than facing this here. Every time I try to lock this pain away it creeps up, I have the faith but sometimes I can’t keep up

These feelings I feel make me want to die, make me wanna not try, make me wanna lose my mind, well I think I already sorda lost it talking to myself,

I thought I had numerous friends but it’s just me, me, me & maybe this pen.

Getting these feelings out is hard to do so maybe I should just start with the truth …

I’m not happy. I’m miserable, I’m lonely, I’m confused, I feel unloved,

I don’t really know who I am, or what I want, I’m heartbroken, I’m scared, I’m anxious, I’m mostly bad;

What will my life be like when I leave here?

I don’t know where to start, or what will be my end,

I hope these feelings don’t last forever,

So until then, I’ll fake my smiles and I’ll keep up this pretending.

Angel B., Binghamton resident

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